Industry insiders are telling me that groundbreaking, earth-shattering, dimension-creating improvements are in store for the October 4 announcement of Apple's newest device. Apparently the new iPhone 5 will be able to...
Love your children while you answer e-mail...
Ensure your friends never interrupt you while you text message your friends...
Translate political speeches into a more meaningful and appropriate Tickle Me Elmo cartoon segment...
Finally give Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg what he wants. Your wife. And finally...
Fully incorporate revolutionary new voice control called iServe, that will provide 100% access to all functionality when you begin your command with, "Almighty and Omnipotent Paganasus, Creator of All that is important and relevant to the world, I Forever Pledge to Worship Your Power and show Gratitude for your Enduring Love for me, and I fall on my knees and humbly beseech thee to play the White Stripes. Thank you." Special voice synthesizers will be able to gauge the sincerity of your pledge, I mean request.
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