The Rib House, Boulder

Our review of the Rib House is available here.  WARNING for the faint hearted: I think they boil their ribs.

Holiday BBQ

We will be finishing 2011 with a BBQ bang.  Go to the website over the the break to get reviews on The Rib House, Serious Texas BBQ and Nordy's.  Yes I am giving Nordy's another shot at redemption.  I will wash away my previous experiences and preconceived notions and give them a fair shot, though they have proven entirely unworthy of such grace.  But hey, 'tis the season!  Merry Christmas and Happy BBQ!

Tim Tebow, the gladiator (video clip)

after beating the Chicago Bears for his 6th consecutive victory (and 7 out of 8), Tebow completes a nice pass into the crowd and asks a question:

pardon the distraction, but I hate Superbowl Halftime shows

My friends and I are continuously outraged at the debacle that is the annual Superbowl halftime performance.  Nothing turns me away from the TV faster.  As I review the history of these performances I see two that were enjoyable, U2 and Prince.  Apologies to those who enjoyed Bruce Springstein, but I have never been a fan.  No apologies to those who enjoyed The Who, because I like Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix, two acts that Roger Daltry actively tried to sabbotage.  The rest have been simply awful and unwatchable and I don't know how the NFL, with its near unlimited resources can routinely do such a terrible job with this.  Next Superbowl is of course no exception with the recent announcement that the awful Madonna will be performing.  Which brings me to another rant-worthy issue: Hey NFL, mix in an American every now and then!  Since 2000, 7 of 13 headliners were non-American, or as I call them irrelevant to Football.  This includes Shania Twain (Canada) and Madonna (Malawi, British, anything but USA).
HISTORY
Superbowl halftime performances really changed starting in the late-80s, when real musicians started headlining.  Before that they were marching bands or "Up With People," whatever the hell that is (I'm glad I don't remember that because it sounds like they may be affiliated with "Hands Across America" or "Wham").  The shows really took on their modern flavor in the early 90s.  The theme has mostly been trying to appear cool and relevant, while at the same time not excluding the mostly elder fan base who can actually afford to see the performance live, at the stadium.  In order to bridge this gap between timelessness and modern relevance they have either (A) brought in popular acts who are somewhat past their prime (see The Who, Bruce Springstein, U2), or (B) brought in numerous performers to support the headliner (see Black Eyed Peas with Slash, or Phil Collins with Christina Aguilerra).  So rather than try to re-engineer the NFL's template let's just stay with that formula and demonstrate, with relative ease, how easy it is to do better than Madonna.
The Eagles
Run DMC
Pat Benatar
Beastie Boys
Metallica
Bon Jovi
ABBA
Blondie
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Peral Jam
Fleetwood Mac
Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, George Strait, Lyle Lovett, Dwight Yoakum, or any number of outstanding Country & Western singers who have been ignored (Shania Twain does not count)
George Thorougood
38 Special
Bob Seger
Kool and the Gang
Harry Connick Jr (only if played at the N.O. Superdome)
Toby Keith with Taylor Swift, with an obligatory duet by Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill

Point is, this ain't rocket science.  Right there are more than a dozen that I came up with from the top of my head.  Any of these individually would be superior to Madonna.  Any combination of these acts would be a more compelling show.  And this coming from someone with zero interest or experience in the entertainment industry.

The only explanation for the NFL screwing this up, routinely, is that they simply do not think anyone is watching.

BBQ in Central America

Colorado Jane and I just returned from our vacation in Costa Rica, where BBQ was off-limits according to the rules of engagement she established prior to departure.  Nevertheless we were forced into a BBQ situation on our last evening there when the resort had a BBQ on the beach.  On the grill could be found tenderloin medalions, pork tenderloin and mahi mahi.  They were fantastic especially given the beautiful setting on the Costa Rican beach and my exquisite-looking dinner partner.
Glad to be back.  Coming up this week at http://www.nocobbq.com/:  more viewer feedback and a review of ribs from Serious Texas BBQ in Loveland.

New Review Posted - Uncle Willie's

We'll be taking some time off for the holidays, but wanted to leave you with our review of Uncle Willie's BBQ in New Haven, CT.  It's not Northern Colorado, but it's BBQ.  Check it out in the reviews section of our website.  Happy Thanksgiving!

what is a must-have with BBQ?

Two things:  beer and napkins.  Ask me a question about beer and I will share an encyclopedia of knowledge borne from experience.  But napkins?  I have not put much thought into that.  But Grilling with Rich has.  Napkin review, here.

My time with a US Senator

Last week I posted on our Twitter account (follow us @NocoBBQ) while I was boarding a flight in NY City that there was a bit of a commotion at the gate because our flight would be carrying a US Senator.  Indeed in the line waiting to board ahead of me was Senator Michael Bennett (D-CO).  I informed my followers that I would post any drunken mishaps or stewardess gropings, but in fact he was a perfect gentleman.  I know all of this because he sat in the seat directly in front of me (33A vs my 34A).  He acted exactly like you would expect a US Senator to act if you had no idea what a US Senator was.  He sat in Coach with the rest of the bourgeois, was uncomfortable for 4 hours just like the rest of us, paid for his chips like anyone else.
I had an amusing moment as I allowed myself to be mentally distracted by the movie we were forced to endure, Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  It was truly, truly terrible.  For the 3 minutes I gave that movie to try and entertain me, I realized that the Senator was watching it also.  I don't really know what to make of this, but I just found it interesting that for a few moments there was an awful Hollywood movie that was irritating not only me but a US Senator as well.  Relying on President Reagan's axiom that "if it moves regulate it, if it keeps moving tax it and if it stops moving subsidize it" do you think Sen. Bennett, even for a second, asked himself what it would take to put a tax on crappy primate movies?  Or movies with James Franco?  Or movies with more than 50% CGI?  If a US Senator is irritated and/or bored can the effects be felt in the tax code?
When I told a friend that Sen. Bennett sat directly in front of me he became angry that I didn't put my gum in his hair or "accidentally" spill my coffee in his lap.  I may have considered that if he had acted like the pompous, entitled doofus that you would expect from a member of Congress.  Instead the Senator was a perfect gentleman to the attendants and to his neighbors.  I don't think many of them realized who he was, and he made no effort to let them know.  Politics aside I was impressed with his demeanor, and was momentarily hopeful that perhaps members of Congress weren't so bad after all.  But then I started thinking of Sen Schumer and Rep Pelosi, former Sen Stevens and Rep Christopher Lee, and I became angry and had a sudden desire to start drinking grain alcohol.
As I was boarding the plane I also asked my Twitter followers what question they would like me to ask the Senator.  One person suggested:

"Ask Sen.Bennett: Senate holding #ESEA hearing 11/8 & #SchoolLibraries aren’t included. Why?! Good #schools need good #libraries!"

Well, here is his response:


Dear [Colorado Jim]:

Libraries provide an invaluable service to our nation. As a former Superintendent and a father of three young daughters, I have seen firsthand the crucial role libraries play in promoting early literacy and learning. They are also important resources for adults – providing resumé development programs, job bank websites, and family literacy classes.

Today, I am happy to pass along some exciting news from the Colorado State Library. It has recently launched public computer centers in 83 communities around the state. These public computer centers can provide you with access to computer training and assistance with education, job searches, health information and other issues.

I thought this would be useful information for you to share with your community as we work together to close the digital divide. For more information about these public computer centers and to find one near your area please click here.

Sincerely,

Michael F. Bennet
United States Senator

I hope that's helpful.  Always happy to provide a public service, even if it occasionally has nothing to do with BBQ.

C.J.

McRib Review

The McRib sucks.  I care not that it's back.  It's not BBQ.  In fact I question whether it is actually food.  It is certainly inedible.  There -- for those of you who have been asking -- is my review of the McRib.

My Sincere Apologies

I am unable to post any reviews or updates this week.  You have two alternatives:  be strong and persevere during this one week drought, only to be fully rewarded upon my return with huge strength and knowledge generation, or live a life of despair.  I recommend option 1.
Next week...

...I will  finally post my review of Serious Texas BBQ.  Preview:  best brisket you will ever eat (I on the other hand have had better, in Texas, but not by much and not any place you would ever go)
...comments from the web have been flowing in, so I answer the mailbag even though I am normally opposed to interacting with simpletons and unwashed folk, and...
...review from Colorado Junior and Colorado Jane on my very own smoked brisket recipe.  Preview:  they hated it, but I love them still (because they were right)

Until next week, EAT MORE Q!!!

Famous Dave's BBQ, revisited

My recent blog post on the potential growing pains at Famous Dave's got some attention from their corporate higher-ups.  I had a nice exchange with their Director of Operations, the person in charge of quality.  They seem genuinely interested in what people think of their BBQ, and went to some length to make me comfortable with they way they operate.  Of course the proof is on the plate, but I wanted to share with you the excellent customer service I experienced.  I'll keep you informed.

Serious Texas BBQ...the "Big 6 Plate"

oh hell yeah!  Review pending.

Competition BBQ Chicken

Good, practical article on making competition-style BBQ chicken, with links to some very good resources.  Read it here.

Hawaiian BBQ without the Luau or sand in your drink

This week we went a little unconventional but it was worth the trip.  Richard the Cornhusker and I tried some Hawaiian BBQ from Windsor and had a wonderful experience.  Read the latest review here.

BBQ Critics gone wild

alternate title: When BBQ Critics' Wives Attack!

Colorado Jane (my wife) makes delicious country-style ribs, but they are prepared in a non-conventional BBQ style.  They taste great, but it's hard to compare them to your traditional BBQ ribs.  So as we sat down for dinner Sunday evening I told her, "These ribs are great, but Colorado Jim would give them a rating of 3."  I then sprung my self-made trap even harder by going into detail on why they would rate so low.  I tried to salvage my marriage by closing with, "But your ribs are really good!"

So to the 1 % of the population of married men who don't already know this, a bit of advice: if you are going to criticize your wife's meal be prepared to either (A) never have her prepare a meal for you ever again, or (B) buy an expensive piece of jewelery in the ensuing 24 hours, or (C) both, since even jewelery may not be able to heal the damage.  Better yet, just keep your stupid mouth shut and chew your delicious homemade food.

Why BBQ is BETTER than sliced bread

I originally submitted this article as a guest blogger for the wonderful www.BBQHub.com, a great BBQ resource. Thought I would share it for my readers. It explains in great detail and irrefutable logic why BBQ is the most bestest thing of all, ever.


What is barbecue? Let’s begin by understanding what it is not. For generations we have cooked meat for our consumption. This is not BBQ. Barbecue was born out of a social event. Thousands of years ago Noog clubbed a rodent and threw it over a flame. Not a BBQ. One day someone happened to be walking by Noog’s cave at the right time, perhaps carrying a freshly-made batch of cole slaw or maybe a pecan pie. The first BBQ.

Barbecue is not simply preparing meat over flame for the mere sake of consumption. It means we must invite others to witness the event. It means we must painstakingly go through our specific and particular steps to prepare, condition and cook the meal. It also means that our crowd of witnesses are encouraging us and ensuring we never have an empty beer.

I tend to be a purist as to what truly defines BBQ. To me it means preparing the meat with a dry rub, slow-cooking it in a smoker, and finishing it by basting with any variety of secret sauces. It should take all day and it should not involve dunking the meat in boiling water. But that’s me. I won’t argue with someone who likes to “barbecue steaks.” If this past Labor Day you invited friends and family over to “barbecue some hamburgers and hot dogs,” I would defend your decision and choice of words from the top of the Rocky Mountains. After all, nobody less than my own beloved Father has been known to extol the virtues of marinating a top sirloin in BBQ sauce, grilling it to perfection then enjoying it with a side of, you guessed it, BBQ sauce. Who am I to tell my Father that he’s got it all wrong?

So if you want to call it a BBQ you’ll get no argument from me as long as the act is not done in isolation. For if a man barbecues alone in the forest, is he really barbecuing? And is he really a man?

To the BBQ snobs out there I say if it contributes to the collective joy of the Q then it is a good thing even if it’s sideways with your rigid idiosyncrasies. After all, life is much more tolerable because of BBQ. I believe God wants us to be happy, and BBQ is proof of that. Imagine life without BBQ, or as I call it, Hell:

The most obvious consequence of a BBQ-less world is that the earth would be run by two warring factions, Cows and Pigs. Humans would be the Manatees of that world. Odd, cute creatures relegated to zoos and shallow waters where we would be given three meals a day of corn flakes or get run over by bovine fishing expeditions. Oh sure the pigs would be sympathetic since we share some genetic material, but it wouldn’t be genuine. We all know swine are incapable of true love. I would rebel against our patronizing pig captors! Let’s all throw our feces at them!!!

Also in a world sans-BBQ there would be a radical geographic and demographic realignment. Kansas and Nebraska would be known for corn – only. Texas would be a far less proud place. The Carolinas would only come up in conversations about March Madness or Senior PGA tournaments. Memphis would cease to exist. With no Memphis there would be no Elvis. With no Elvis there would be no 1960’s counter-weight to the British rock invasion. The culinary hole left by BBQ would be filled with fish n’ chips and mushy peas. I would rather be in my cage with a steady diet of corn flakes thank you very much.

And finally, without BBQ domestic beer would be un-drinkable. I mean really, let’s be honest. You know it, and I know it. America’s worst contribution to the world was taking perfectly good beer and watering it down. Just like real BBQ uses smoke, real beer uses hops. If you don’t like craft beer because it’s bitter, then you don’t like beer period. You should stick with malt beverages made for women but inexplicably marketed to men (I’m looking at you Mike’s Hard Lemonade. You’re fooling nobody).

We all know that BBQ is good, and with my compelling and irrefutable logic I have just proven as much. So let us soldier on, Brothers in BBQ, and carry the banner high. Regardless of the region, the sauce ingredients or the method of preparation we should all “Eat more Q!” As we enter this post-Labor Day period where The Man tells us to put away the grills and smokers I make a bold declaration: MORE BARBECUE PLEASE!

Colorado Jim is a BBQ Judge and Enthusiast He lives in Fort Collins with his beautiful wife and lovely children, where he has a job that would bore you to tears You can visit his website at www.NocoBBQ.com

Colorado's Best BBQ...

...is available in Fort Colllins, but you'd better hurry because it may not be around much longer.  Go to Souza's BBQ and see for yourself.  You can read the review on our website.

we're hardest on those we love - Famous Dave's

I so want Famous Dave's to be better.  It's pretty good, but I want it to be better.  You may recall in my latest review the inconsistency of the brisket.  I talked with a friend who just had a similar experience with their ribs.  Fell in love with them on the first visit, ordered them again on a second trip and got the super fatty end cut.  Now he doesn't know what to think.  Has their rapid expansion come at the expense of quality control?  Are their margins such that they have to improve yields by using inferior cuts of meat?  Have they changed suppliers?  Who has the final say on the trimming?  Shift manager?  Kitchen manager?  General manager?  Is there sufficient training for these roles?  Clearly something is up here (using my sample size of n=2).  Irrefutable.

And for what it's worth have you noticed that the crowds aren't what they used to be?  At my last visit there was no wait at all, and we had great seating in the bar.  Very unusual.  A thought occurred to me as Richard the Cornhusker and I sat there: has Dave lost his mojo?

The people sitting behind us were having a conversation about Nordy's BBQ, another big chain.  The adults were arguing that they didn't think it was very good.  The 20-something they were talking to took a very pro-Nordy's position.  "A lot of people say Nordy's isn't very good," declared Mr. Universal Knowledge, "but they just don't know good BBQ."

Wrong.  My first visit to Nordy's was disastrous.  It actually smelled like manure.  So bad that I figured it had to be an anomaly and I would give them a second chance.  The second chance confirmed the first -- boiled meat covered in ketchup, with unmistakable aroma of 2-day old manure.  For the sake of my readers I will force myself to visit Nordy's a third time for a full review, accompanied of course by trained toxicologists and gastro-interologists.  But what's interesting here is that this discussion was taking place at Famous Dave's.  If Dave can't get his quality control in line then it won't be long until more people get tired of the awful meat trimming and we can have a serious discussion that I am pre-titling "Nordy's versus Famous Dave's:  a race to the BBQ bottom."

Nebraska...good BBQ...good people

Interesting read...For those who don't know - The Huskers have been carrying an American Flag onto the field after their tunnel walk at the start of this years first three games. Here's the story behind it.
Subject: The Husker Flag of 2011
One of our members shared this with me and gave me permission to share it with the group. In case you've been wondering about the significance of the flag the football team has carried out each week...here's the explanation: Typically I have no use for sports analogies to war. Sports are not war. Sports are entertainment. But in the case of Jack Riggins' American flag, I'm happy to make an exception. Riggins is a veteran Navy SEAL from Fremont, Neb. His official title is "Executive Officer for Naval Special Warfare Unit." He spent the past decade in Afghanistan fighting terrorists. There are football heroes. Riggins is a real hero. Riggins is currently back in Afghanistan, but last month Riggins was back in his native Nebraska . He was invited to speak to the Nebraska football team. He did. And how. According to players who were in the room, Riggins' speech blew them away. He was brutally honest. He told war stories. Real war stories. He talked about growing up a Husker fan. He compared some of the missions he served on to some of the great victories in Nebraska football history. He fired up the Unity Council, saying, "As the Unity Council goes, so goes the 2011 season." He fired up the whole room and by the end of it, the entire team wanted to follow him out the door. Riggins left the Huskers one gift. An American flag. And not just any flag. He presented them the flag that he personally carried around Afghanistan for 10 years. That's the flag you saw Jared Crick and Austin Jones carry out to the field the past two home games. "He let us know that that flag bagged a lot of terrorists,'' said NU senior safety Austin Cassidy, who helped carry the flag out for the season opener. "He told us to do what we wanted with the flag, just don't let it touch the ground." The Unity Council met with Assistant Athletic Director Jeff Jamrog and decided to make the flag the Huskers' flag for 2011. The team will carry it out to the field in both home and away games. During games, it's on the team sideline, in a stand. During the week, it hangs in the locker room. "It's a cool reminder that there are a lot bigger things going on," Cassidy said. "His talk was one of the best talks I've ever heard in my life. We have some very proud Americans on our team. They are very patriotic. That fired up team.

latest update

Amanda Knox is free, the Broncos stink and the funniest Rick Perry video I have ever seen is available directly below. Check out our feedback section for new content. Also we have two reviews this week: KT’s BBQ in Boulder and Souza’s BBQ in Fort Collins. They will be available Tuesday and Thursday, respectively. Check it all out at the website.

I can't get enough of this

iPhone 5 rumors

Industry insiders are telling me that groundbreaking, earth-shattering, dimension-creating improvements are in store for the October 4 announcement of Apple's newest device. Apparently the new iPhone 5 will be able to...

Love your children while you answer e-mail...

Ensure your friends never interrupt you while you text message your friends...

Translate political speeches into a more meaningful and appropriate Tickle Me Elmo cartoon segment...

Finally give Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg what he wants. Your wife. And finally...

Fully incorporate revolutionary new voice control called iServe, that will provide 100% access to all functionality when you begin your command with, "Almighty and Omnipotent Paganasus, Creator of All that is important and relevant to the world, I Forever Pledge to Worship Your Power and show Gratitude for your Enduring Love for me, and I fall on my knees and humbly beseech thee to play the White Stripes. Thank you." Special voice synthesizers will be able to gauge the sincerity of your pledge, I mean request.

The Day BBQ died

Read the obit for Cotton’s BBQ in the reviews section of our website, here. It makes me both sad and hungry. Coming up soon, review of KT’s BBQ in Boulder.

Famous Daves BBQ Review

Latest review now available in the Reviews section, here. Everything you need to know about Famous Daves #BBQ: Should you eat there? Should you like it? How many states can you drive to and find one? If you've recently had your tonsils removed how will you react to their Devil's Spit sauce? Are the Broncos the worst football team in the NFL? All these questions are answered at www.NocoBBQ.com

Big Brother wants you to stop BBQing

This is a real statement from the Dept of Homeland Security (Ministry of Love) “Under the direction of President Obama and Secretary Janet Napolitano, the entire federal family is leaning forward to support our state, tribal and territorial partners along the East Coast,” a FEMA news release declared Friday as Irene churned toward landfall." emphasis added Oh brother. If the Ministry of Love -- er -- Federal Government is our "federal family" does that make President Obama our Big Brother? And just to be fair that term was used in the Bush and Clinton administration also, so let's not ridicule the current administration exclusively. They ALL deserve our ridicule. Except the Taft administration. He was a great friend of barbecue.

Regardless you can rest assured that we at NocoBBQ would never try to supplant your family. NocoBBQ will never try to draw you in with Orwellian-speak like some weird, cultish, sociopathic hypnotist. We want you to keep your family all to yourself and feed them delicious, moist barbecue dripping with flavorful, hickory-smoked juices and thick, tangy sauce. That is the method we at NocoBBQ will use to lure you into a sense of cultish loyalty. With delightful mental images that make your mouth drool and stomach ache. Our cogent reviews and tantalizing prose will be sufficient to win your loyalty. You can keep your family. We demand only your unrequited love.

What is BBQ? Latest article and guest blog at BBQHub

The good folks at BBQHub.com, a huge barbecue resource, have posted my guest blog article on their fine website. You can read it here. Humility forces me to downplay my prose, which will in all likelihood be discussed for many, many generations as the finest words ever recorded on the topic of barbecue.

Colorado Jim, guest blogger extraorinnaire

Very excited to have been invited to guest blog at www.BBQHub.com. Will let you know when my amazing prose is posted on their website. Sneak preview: why barbecue is the reason mankind has survived this long, and what will become of us when it is banned by The Man.

Colorado Jim